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So You Want To Manifest Someone? Here Are 9 Ways To Get Started, From Experts

We asked spiritual, relationship, and psychology experts all about how to manifest someone into your life–what to do, what not to do, and if it’s actually possible.

What is manifestation?

Manifestation is a process of internal transformation and external actualization. It’s a method of turning inward to fully embody your most authentic expression in order to get clear on what you actually seek, then making that desire a reality.

Can you manifest anything and anyone? The catch is that it must be within the bounds of your reality–and our minds must be primed to believe that it can realistically bring the manifestation to fruition. Anything but is an untethered form of delusion that can lead to disappointment.

When it comes to manifesting someone specifically, it’s important to note that you cannot manifest on someone else’s behalf. Period.

Human beings have “free will,” meaning we run the show on our own. We have the power to change the course of our lives, regardless of the state of the universe. For example, if you’re manifesting your ex and they are no longer interested, you won’t be able to manifest rekindling that flame. Similarly, if you are trying to lure your beloved celebrity crush in with a manifestation ritual, think again. Manifestations have to be an energetic vibrational match for all parties involved.

How to manifest someone.


Get clear–emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually

According to cognitive behavioral therapy, there’s a lot of science behind “feeling is healing.” This methodology shows when you change your feelings, you change your behavior, which changes your life. When you’re able to think more clearly, you’re able to take actions that align more with your manifestations.

“When you get clear on what you want and how you want to feel, you activate your reticular activating system1 (RAS),” says Amy Chan, Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing the heart. Your RAS helps you filter out the information you don’t need, and focus on the information you do need.

You can also take this clearing practice to your physical and digital environment, energetically cleansing out what no longer serves you (i.e. old photos with your partner, clothes that you no longer like, etc.). Given that everything holds energy, you are creating the space for new energy to flow through and to you.


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Cultivate self awareness & core values

If you don’t know what you want and what you like, then how will a partner know? “A relationship is like two circles joining, versus one half completing the other,” Chan tells mindbodygreen.

Dating yourself can look like literally taking yourself on dates. Try exploring one of Julia Cameron’s coined “artist dates”–a festive, solo expedition to explore something that interests you. Diving deep into true self-discovery will not only strengthen the bonds to your most authentic expression, nurturing self-love, but will also help you break the confines of possible societal or familial programming.

“When you are a walking example of what you want to call in and you’re exuding that energy, [you] become a magnet,” explains intuitive healer and manifestation expert, Joy Dushey.

Discovering your unique core values can also be a helpful tool to help guide your actions and ensure you’re aligned with the manifestations you’re calling in. “What you want is someone who has shared values and a shared vision for life, not necessarily someone just like yourself. This is when people get upset when their partner isn’t exactly like them,” Chan adds.


Make a list

There are a couple different types of lists that can help with manifesting someone into your life. One option would be to write out what you’re looking for in a partner. Note: It’s best to not only focus on the external characteristics, but internal as well. Most importantly, focus on the feeling.

“You want to start connecting to that feeling so it’s not so foreign when you experience it…because it may not always look like what you’re intellectually thinking,” Chan explains.

You can also try listing out your ideal life and day. List out your perfect day as if it’s happening right now. Tune into your senses and get specific. “How a couple can actually move through time together is one of the most important factors in what makes a long-term successful relationship,” Chan says.

Thinking About Trying Keen? Here’s What To Know First, Based On My Experience.


Free-write or use the 369 method

Can’t quite pull a specific list together? Try either free-writing or morning pages (another Julia Cameron tool). By putting a pen to paper, you’re able to get out of your head and delve deeper into your subconscious. It’s also an incredible tool to cleanse negative thoughts.

As neuroscientist and manifesting aficionado Tara Swart M.D., Ph.D., previously explained to mindbodygreen, journaling can also help you recognize a scarcity mindset versus an abundance mindset–because manifestation simply doesn’t work with a scarcity mindset.

For more structure to your writing, you can also test out the 369 method. This practice involves writing down what you’d like to manifest three times in the morning, six times during the day, and nine times in the evening. Repetitively writing your manifestation helps rewire neural pathways, strengthening positive thought patterns and beliefs.


Do visualizations

Similar to writing a list, try to visualize your dream life as if your special someone is already present in your life. “Get yourself in a meditative state, and begin to associate with it by feeling into the details with your partner,” Chan recommends.

When you visualize your manifestation coming to life, neurons in your brain interpret this type of imagery as if it’s already happening in your reality, and thus, you begin to embody a frequency that’s a vibrational match for what you’re calling in. Here are four powerful visualization techniques to help get you started.


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Create a vision board

A vision board is a physical (or digital) representation of your manifestation. To make one, look for images that showcase what you are calling in and pin them–you could even keep them in a digital folder on your phone or computer if you’re not particularly crafty.

And if you’re creating a board, try using the feng shui bagua map as a guide. The upper right-hand corner is the energy center of relationships. When you’re done, make sure to put your board somewhere visible, so you’re regularly reminded about your goals and desires.

As reiki master and spiritual author Kelsey Patel previously explained to mindbodygreen, “If we don’t have a clear direction of where we’re headed or where we want to go, it can be very easy to get caught up in things that aren’t actually good for us. Creating a vision board is a powerful way of getting to know yourself and what it is you truly want to manifest and call into your life.”


Use positive affirmations

Affirmations are phrases that state what energy we would like to embody in the present moment. “I am…” statements are the most common, but they can take other forms like “I will…” or “I believe…”

Simply reciting these affirmations alone will not manifest someone into your life, but by grounding these statements in the present tense, you’re acknowledging that your highest self is already here, within. (Versus if you continue to speak in the future sense, which creates distance between yourself and your manifestations.)

Be sure that affirmations are still realistic, too. As Chan explains, “If your brain actually doesn’t believe [the affirmation], it inherently rejects it as true. It could actually do more damage. So you never want to go with the total opposite of what you believe. Start with something closer to the truth.”

For example, rather than saying a definitive affirmation like, “I am in the best relationship of my life,” try “I attract loving relationships into my life.”


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Recruit an accountability partner

Release the stress and pressure of manifesting by finding a manifestation partner in crime! This can be a solo friend or a collective community.

Having a like-minded community or clinical therapist to connect with while working through subconscious roadblocks and reprogramming is highly recommended, especially if you have been through any form of trauma.


Ditch the when & the how

If you’re overly tethered to timelines, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment–because your manifestations may very well arrive in a way that’s completely unexpected.

“Some have this picture of how a partner is going to look, and that can actually backfire on you because of your reticular activating system (RAS),” Chan explains.

As aforementioned, your RAS helps you filter out the information that you don’t need and focus in on the information that you do need. So, as Chan notes, if you’re only focused on people that look a certain way, “you may completely surpass a fully aligned partner because you were blinded.”

Easier said than done, but it’s best to stop forcing and stay open. Surrender to the belief that it may not be happening right now or in a certain way because something even better than you could have imagined is on its way to you.


What is the best time to manifest?

Right when you wake up (before you grab any technology), is the most ideal time to connect with any self-awareness or spiritual tool, because your brain is in a theta state, known for deep states of relaxation or daydreaming. Before bed would work as well. Dushey says it’s more about being able to feel into what you’re calling in, regardless of what time it is.

Is it possible to manifest a better relationship?

Yes, you can always do work to improve your relationship, thereby “manifesting” a better relationship. It’s important to ask yourself what “better” looks like for you, though. Again, what does it feel like? Growth and love is ever-evolving, so don’t think once you’ve manifested someone, the partnership is going to be easy breezy forever.


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The takeaway.

You can absolutely manifest someone into your life, but there’s no one-size-fits all approach. True manifestation is an inside job, and like any practice for personal growth, comes down to tuning into what works for you and taking aligned action.

Use the above methodologies as tools–not rules. Our energy (and the world’s energy) is multidimensional, so think of your manifestation experience as multidimensional as well.

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